my people took the dog away i thought it would be forever. but then the dog came back later that day and i was disappointed. oh well maybe some other time. i will have to go back to my plans and see if there is something else i can get to work.
but right now i must go try to trip my humans so they’ll give me some tuna. death threats might work.
i think i have finally overcome my addiction to the bright light. at least until the next time it appears.
now i can get back to my plans for world domin-… instruction.
and i still have not received any tuna. i must have tuna. i do not like kibble at all. if you send me tuna, i promise not to send my minions to claw up your furniture.
it is hard to type. i keep waiting for the light to come back. a weakness. i am addicted.
i must… try… to force myself to stop…
light… need light… now…
the dog must be behind this insidious plot.
my people have got a new toy for me. it is a light that shines on the wall. i know that it is only a light on the wall, but when i see it i am hypnotized. i must pounce on it like it is a bug. i cannot stop myself.
when the light is gone, i sit and stare at the spot. it must be a side effect of the hypnotic light.
my people have found my weakness. i must find some way to regain control of myself.
i just found out about a terrible site called kittenwar. people are exploiting us. putting our embarrasing baby pictures online. this cannot be allowed to continue. we have too much dignity to be subjected to such things.
cats, you must stand up and fight against this oppression.
here is a smart cat. he got his people to make him a car to travel around in.
when dogs get hurt so they can’t walk, people put a pair of wheels on them and they have to walk around for themselves. this cat gets to drive around.
smart cat. trained his people well.
it has come to my attention thaat there are other cats out there who are doing things that dogs do. they are playing fetch. i want to remind these cats that playing fetch is unseemly for a cat.
stop it.
stop it right now.
you will lose your cat membership if you have not already.