The Cat’s Purr

With that foul creature, the canine. She has agreed to signal the humans to escort her to a place she calls “the park”, thereby giving we cats ample time to access the computer. However, being the selfish and egotistical creature she is, she says she will only do so if we act as her amanuensis by transcribing her words and recording them here. She claims she wants “her voice heard”. Foolish mutt, the entire neighborhood hears “her voice” every time the mail is delivered, but if that’s the only way to lure the humans out of the home, then so be it.

forget about the light that i have been chasing. a snake has invaded my domain. i must kill it. i have caught it several times, but it keeps coming back to life.

it disguises itself by tasting like the strange furs that my people decide to wear [they have to wear something, since they have no fur]. but the snake can not fool me.

i have attempted to warn the dog of the danger… but neither the dog nor my people seem to care.

i must get this intruder out of the house.

my people took the dog away i thought it would be forever. but then the dog came back later that day and i was disappointed. oh well maybe some other time. i will have to go back to my plans and see if there is something else i can get to work.

but right now i must go try to trip my humans so they’ll give me some tuna. death threats might work.

i think i have finally overcome my addiction to the bright light. at least until the next time it appears.

now i can get back to my plans for world domin-… instruction.

and i still have not received any tuna. i must have tuna. i do not like kibble at all. if you send me tuna, i promise not to send my minions to claw up your furniture.

when i found out that my peeple let the dog have a blog, i had to get a blog too. i can spell better and i can type better than the dog can, even if i do not have thumbs.

plus, everyone knows that cats are superior to all animals.

so i took my peeople’s credit card and bought a domain name. then i hacked into my peeople’s web host and added my domain name. people are too stupid to notice these things.