my people have got a new toy for me. it is a light that shines on the wall. i know that it is only a light on the wall, but when i see it i am hypnotized. i must pounce on it like it is a bug. i cannot stop myself.
when the light is gone, i sit and stare at the spot. it must be a side effect of the hypnotic light.
my people have found my weakness. i must find some way to regain control of myself.
i just found out about a terrible site called kittenwar. people are exploiting us. putting our embarrasing baby pictures online. this cannot be allowed to continue. we have too much dignity to be subjected to such things.
cats, you must stand up and fight against this oppression.
here is a smart cat. he got his people to make him a car to travel around in.
when dogs get hurt so they can’t walk, people put a pair of wheels on them and they have to walk around for themselves. this cat gets to drive around.
smart cat. trained his people well.
it has come to my attention thaat there are other cats out there who are doing things that dogs do. they are playing fetch. i want to remind these cats that playing fetch is unseemly for a cat.
stop it.
stop it right now.
you will lose your cat membership if you have not already.
if i do not get some catnip soon, i will claw your face off. i do not want to claw your face off. that would get my nails dirty.
i am getting angry…
buy catnip now.
tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna tuna
enough of that. i need tuna and i need tuna now. my people continue to refuse my requests for this delicacy. even attempts to bribe them with dead insects are not working.
it is up to you to purchase the tuna i require.
i require tuna in a pouch
when i found out that my peeple let the dog have a blog, i had to get a blog too. i can spell better and i can type better than the dog can, even if i do not have thumbs.
plus, everyone knows that cats are superior to all animals.
so i took my peeople’s credit card and bought a domain name. then i hacked into my peeople’s web host and added my domain name. people are too stupid to notice these things.